D'oh!

I found it slightly interesting when I first heard of the plans of the government in Venezuela to drop The Simpsons from their regular television schedules. The reason for this move was that they felt the programme was "inappropriate" for young viewers, and that it contained "messages that go against the whole education of boys, girls and adolescents".

Fair enough. After all, over here in Blighty The Simpsons (normally) doesn't start until 6pm which is the very start of the watershed, which is the period of time where the more adult themes can start to be presented or referred to in programmes a little more than during the daytime stuff. And sometimes an episode will contain a risque subject or two. One only has to remember Homer's sexual harassment accusation, or the rather racy episodes involving his and Marge's attempts to "snuggle".

And yet, what have the Venezuelans decided to put on in its place? Baywatch. Yes, the same Baywatch with Pamela Anderson and Carmen Electra running around a beach with very little on, while David "The Hoff" Hasselhoff stands around spouting lines whilst secretly stealing them for lyrics for his next best selling album in Germany.

Am I missing something here? Yes, The Simpsons does have its faults but at the end of the day surely it's about family values? Homer, though an idiot, is a lovable idiot, and genuinely loves his wife and kids. Marge, though possibly stereotypical as the stay-at-home mother, does have a tendency to go out into the world and make a stand for her beliefs. Bart is a rebel, but anything he does that has serious repercussions are dealt with, and he occasionally feels sorrow (check the episode Bart the Mother) . Maggie's a baby - okay, so she occasionally attacks her father with a mallet, and okay she nearly murdered Mr Burns, but the former was a good laugh and the latter was an accident (we think)! And what the flippin' heck's wrong with Lisa? Grade A student all the way, smart, intelligent, funny - possibly the only truly sane one in the family.

Now look at Baywatch. Don't look too hard, mind, else you might get hypnotised by the slow running, the meaningful stares of the Hoff, the jiggling...the endless jiggling...

The point is, Baywatch, if you think about it, is ten times worse than The Simpsons. Not just in its content, either, but in its writing. The Simpsons has always been one of the best written shows in the history of television, give or take the odd slip-up and the boringly mandatory "clip shows" that the Fox network force upon them. Baywatch? Oh no, a cute guy/girl is drowning, we'd better send out two even cuter guys/girls to rescue them and then perform mouth-to-mouth throughout the rest of the episodes. Please, any show where Pamela and Carmen can pull off convincing acting has got to have something wrong with it.

There is, however, evidence to suggest the amount of state control that Venezuelan television currently must answer to. One of the only new shows that is being made at the moment is a chat show, presented by a man called Hugo Chavez. And he only just happens to be the President of Venezuela. Ah, the perks of the job, huh?

Laters.