Found this on the good ol' World Wide Web this morning: a list of the Top Ten worst covers in (British) Music History. Here you go:
1. William Shatner: 'Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds'
2. Britney Spears: 'I Love Rock 'N' Roll'
3. Gareth Gates: 'Spirit In The Sky'
4. Kelly Osbourne: 'Papa Don't Preach'
5. Terry Wogan: 'The Floral Dance'
6. Madonna: 'American Pie'
7. Gareth Gates: 'Unchained Melody'
8. Rolf Harris: 'Stairway To Heaven'
9. Rik Waller: 'I Will Always Love You'
10. Alexandra Burke: 'Hallelujah'
It's a funny creature, the cover. You either love them or hate them. Some artists seem to be addicted to making them (particularly boy bands such as Boyzone or Westlife). Others will bow down maybe once to them - Britters at Number 2 has done perhaps two or three, but that's it. The cover song has also being adopted by charities - Children In Need, Comic Relief - as a quick, go to for raising more money for their respective projects. That's a little sneaky, because then you can't be too cynical about them, as its all for the greater good.
No, perhaps the most annoying use of covers recently has been with a little programme called The X Factor, a show like American Idol, (and its other counterparts - I dunno, is there a Kazakhstan Idol?), which is based solely on the idea of a bunch of un-famous people doing rather OTT cover versions of famous people's songs. The winner then releases another cover as their debut single, which then goes straight to Christmas Number One...annoyingly.
Last year the series spawned two cover singles. The first was a cover of Mariah Carey's 'Hero', which was sadly a charity single for British Troops, so again I'm forced to be as un-cynical as possible. I also have to sadly admit that it sent shivers up my spine the first time I heard it - I must be getting soft in my old age. But the true abomination was the winner's single, which you can see up at Number 10 on the list, Alexandra Burke's version of 'Hallelujah'. Now, admittedly, this has been one of the most covered songs ever, and in my opinion (and also the opinion of Leonard Cohen, the original artist) the definitive version was made by Jeff Buckley. Burke's is all about the glory and ooh, look at me, I've just won a meaningless talent show.
Alas, even Leona Lewis, the only success story of The X Factor, had to start with a cover version, and recently she did a cover of Snow Patrol's 'Run'. The difference is she makes it her own, as Buckley did with 'Hallelujah'. That's the recipe for a truly great cover version: it re-defines the song, re-imagines it. Let's have a list of those. I bet you it will be much shorter than the one of worst covers.
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Had a rather surreal evening last night. Our power went out, then came back on as if it was running incredibly low on juice. The lights were dim, the television was at time unwatchable (in terms of the picture, not the programmes), and the oven was making odd noises. Then, as we were flicking through the gradually distorting channels, we were able to see a game show called Golden Balls - I'm not sure exactly what happens in it, but appearing on the show last night was my ex-girlfriend's boyfriend. If it hadn't been for the power going wacky, we would never have seen that. Surreal at best. And he didn't win, poor chap - he was voted off before the grand final.
Laters.
Wednesday 14 January 2009
Tuesday 13 January 2009
2009 At The Movies!
Last year I only had about five films that I knew would definitely distract me from writing: some of them more than lived up to my expectations (Sweeney Todd, The Dark Knight), some were a little disappointing (Quantum Of Solace, Inkheart) and one of them I never even got to see (Cloverfield, though I did get the DVD for Christmas! Haven't watched it yet, though.) )
But this year - this year I can think of at least ten films that could pull me away from my computer as I try to get on with my work! I've put the list of them to the side in a brand new list box thing, but here they are for you in all their glory!
Harry Potter And The Half Blood Prince: big fan, been waiting a while for this one.
Public Enemies: Johnny Depp in a 1930s gangster film!
Sherlock Holmes : Robert Downey Jr in a Guy Ritchie film!
Star Trek: Small, low budget astronomical feature...I think.
The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button: Brad Pitt re teams with David Fight Club Fincher.
The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus: Terry Gilliam's hopeful return to the top, and Heath Ledger's last ever film.
The Lovely Bones: Long awaited Peter Jackson film, could rival Heavenly Creatures.
Up: Pixar. 'Nuff said.
Watchmen: The Comic Book (sorry, Graphic Novel) film of the year.
Where The Wild Things Are: Always loved this book as a kid - hope Spike Jonze don't muck it up.
Looking at this list, I think I can be pretty pleased with the mixture of my taste - hopefully, I don't look too shallow and pedantic. Also (hopefully) ten films shouldn't be enough to stop me from writing, unless I do a Dark Knight and go and watch them again...and again...and again...and again...
Laters.
But this year - this year I can think of at least ten films that could pull me away from my computer as I try to get on with my work! I've put the list of them to the side in a brand new list box thing, but here they are for you in all their glory!
Harry Potter And The Half Blood Prince: big fan, been waiting a while for this one.
Public Enemies: Johnny Depp in a 1930s gangster film!
Sherlock Holmes : Robert Downey Jr in a Guy Ritchie film!
Star Trek: Small, low budget astronomical feature...I think.
The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button: Brad Pitt re teams with David Fight Club Fincher.
The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus: Terry Gilliam's hopeful return to the top, and Heath Ledger's last ever film.
The Lovely Bones: Long awaited Peter Jackson film, could rival Heavenly Creatures.
Up: Pixar. 'Nuff said.
Watchmen: The Comic Book (sorry, Graphic Novel) film of the year.
Where The Wild Things Are: Always loved this book as a kid - hope Spike Jonze don't muck it up.
Looking at this list, I think I can be pretty pleased with the mixture of my taste - hopefully, I don't look too shallow and pedantic. Also (hopefully) ten films shouldn't be enough to stop me from writing, unless I do a Dark Knight and go and watch them again...and again...and again...and again...
Laters.
Monday 12 January 2009
Seagal!
I've got a confession to make: I have a soft spot for a little film called On Deadly Ground. For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, it is the second best film starring Steven Seagal, that stalwart of really, really bad action movies(the first being Under Siege).
Now, as a red blooded male, I suppose it's only natural for me to enjoy the odd action film with very little plot, and On Deadly Ground is no exception - it makes very little sense, has a very silly plot, and is really a disastrous attempt at making a shoot-em-up film with an ecological message - its all about oil rigs and Eskimos in Alaska, you see. Thankfully, the film is saved by a somewhat staggeringly brilliant cast: Michael Caine is the bad guy, John C McGinley (Dr Cox from Scrubs) is his henchman, R. Lee Emery is the leader of a group of mercenaries who obviously cannot stop just one man ('cos that one man happens to be Seagal), even Billy Bob Thornton makes an appearance. and, yes, at the end of the day, there's just a lot of fun to be had watching one man take on every other single person in the film and blowing things up.
It's a little annoying to realise that action scenes are so much easier to envisage in films (or television) than in books. I find action scenes the hardest things to write, which is annoying when you consider that my books are typical good guy vs bad guy material, and how my first two books end with your typical confrontation. I'm planning to have a great big battle scene in The Witch Sister - a battle scene, for crying out loud! Once upon a time I toyed with the idea of being a writer of thrillers, a la Clive Cussler or even (what was I thinking?) Ian Flemming. But because I felt I was so bad at writing action scenes I realised that it was pretty ridiculous to try and keep this going.
Oh how I wish Seagal was a decent writer. Then we could all send him our ideas and say, "Yo, Steve, how should I end this scene? Should he jump over the side of the boat or should he blow everything up with a match and a line of petrol?" Ah well - we should always stick to what we're best at, as Seagal has found - though all his recent films haven't even been half as good as Under Siege or On Deadly Ground. In fact, god forbid, they've been ten times worse, and not in a good way! Still, at least he tried something new - even Seagal takes creative chances!
Now, as a red blooded male, I suppose it's only natural for me to enjoy the odd action film with very little plot, and On Deadly Ground is no exception - it makes very little sense, has a very silly plot, and is really a disastrous attempt at making a shoot-em-up film with an ecological message - its all about oil rigs and Eskimos in Alaska, you see. Thankfully, the film is saved by a somewhat staggeringly brilliant cast: Michael Caine is the bad guy, John C McGinley (Dr Cox from Scrubs) is his henchman, R. Lee Emery is the leader of a group of mercenaries who obviously cannot stop just one man ('cos that one man happens to be Seagal), even Billy Bob Thornton makes an appearance. and, yes, at the end of the day, there's just a lot of fun to be had watching one man take on every other single person in the film and blowing things up.
It's a little annoying to realise that action scenes are so much easier to envisage in films (or television) than in books. I find action scenes the hardest things to write, which is annoying when you consider that my books are typical good guy vs bad guy material, and how my first two books end with your typical confrontation. I'm planning to have a great big battle scene in The Witch Sister - a battle scene, for crying out loud! Once upon a time I toyed with the idea of being a writer of thrillers, a la Clive Cussler or even (what was I thinking?) Ian Flemming. But because I felt I was so bad at writing action scenes I realised that it was pretty ridiculous to try and keep this going.
Oh how I wish Seagal was a decent writer. Then we could all send him our ideas and say, "Yo, Steve, how should I end this scene? Should he jump over the side of the boat or should he blow everything up with a match and a line of petrol?" Ah well - we should always stick to what we're best at, as Seagal has found - though all his recent films haven't even been half as good as Under Siege or On Deadly Ground. In fact, god forbid, they've been ten times worse, and not in a good way! Still, at least he tried something new - even Seagal takes creative chances!
Monday 5 January 2009
Snow!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes, just when I get the house back to myself, to really exploit the peace and quiet to concentrate on getting on with some writing, I open my curtains this morning to find the world literally covered in a think layer of the cold white stuff - and I ain't talking vanilla Ice Cream. Cos, you know, that would be kinda weird.
I love snow! Love it! I have made a whole-hearted attempt at making a half-hearted looking snow lump - it's not the kind of snow you can make a whole person from right now. I have thrown snowballs, I have made great big footprints in the garden...
Adult? What adult? I'm 8 again!
Laters!
I love snow! Love it! I have made a whole-hearted attempt at making a half-hearted looking snow lump - it's not the kind of snow you can make a whole person from right now. I have thrown snowballs, I have made great big footprints in the garden...
Adult? What adult? I'm 8 again!
Laters!
Friday 2 January 2009
Writer's Block
It's a funny thing, writer's block. Not funny as in ha ha that's hysterical, ow my sides funny - more like hmm, this is in danger of fast becoming shallow and pedantic type of funny.
The thing is it can hit you whenever wherever, no matter how good you feel about what you;re working on, and then - this is the real killer r- it lasts for random amounts of time. It could be over by the afternoon or it could take up to six months to really finish messing around with your head.
I've found the latter to be the case continuously, especially with regards to The Witch Sister but also, weirdly, with the simple art of writing a cover letter to send to potential literary agents along with my synopsis and first two chapters of Where Wild Things Grow. How weird is that? I got writer's block on an administrative form! That's gotta be worth a place in history, surely?
Oh yeah, and I've spruced up the blog as you can probably tell. Nothing too fancy, just felt the need for a change. Hope none of you find it too shallow and pedantic (I love that phrase!)
Laters.
The thing is it can hit you whenever wherever, no matter how good you feel about what you;re working on, and then - this is the real killer r- it lasts for random amounts of time. It could be over by the afternoon or it could take up to six months to really finish messing around with your head.
I've found the latter to be the case continuously, especially with regards to The Witch Sister but also, weirdly, with the simple art of writing a cover letter to send to potential literary agents along with my synopsis and first two chapters of Where Wild Things Grow. How weird is that? I got writer's block on an administrative form! That's gotta be worth a place in history, surely?
Oh yeah, and I've spruced up the blog as you can probably tell. Nothing too fancy, just felt the need for a change. Hope none of you find it too shallow and pedantic (I love that phrase!)
Laters.
Thursday 1 January 2009
Happy New Year!
Well, it's come around again quicker than ever - it's the start of a brand new year. Yippee!
To be honest, I don't feel that enthusiastic about the whole thing, but oh well - who knows what could happen? I've already made several New Years Resolutions, after the partial succes of last year (I achieved one - go me!) and am ready to step fprward into what feels like just another day. To bid a fond farewell to 2008, though, here's a list of the top ten films I watched for the first time last year. This means they didn't exactly come out last year, just that I watched them for the first time. Enjoy!
10. JINDABYNE (7/10)
"Nothing seems rushed at all in the telling and unfolding of the story...There are clumsy moments...The race card is dealt, in comparison to the rest of the film, too quickly and swept aside too easily...It is perhaps a shame that, though two arguably very brilliant actors, Linney and Byrne were needed at all...A thoughtful film, though it could perhaps have been a little clearer in what it was actually trying to say."
9. QUANTUM OF SOLACE (7/10)
"(The film) starts fast and furiously and for the most part never lets up...I don't believe you can just watch it as a stand alone film...(Daniel) Craig's Bond takes the character to dark new places...There is a tour de force performance by Judi Dench...Camille is possibly the most interesting Bond girl we've had in a while...Mathieu Almaric does as well as he can...Characters are wasted...Good effort - just not great."
8. NOTES ON A SCANDAL (7/10)
"The power of the diary is paramount to the story and characters...Two powerful performances by two very fine actresses...The book on which the film is based is perhaps more powerful than this better-than-average adaptation."
7. HOT FUZZ (8/10)
"Intelligent, funny and at times pretty thrilling...Great writing, great casting, great stunts and great special effects...(Simon) Pegg and Nick Frost once again make a great double act...There were too many endings...A genuinely funny film to watch with your mates."
6. SIN CITY (8/10)
"This film blew me away from pretty much the first minute...The little splashes of colour truly make this a fantastical, yet realistic world...The violence is a weird but brilliant mixture of realism and cartoonish...Jessica Alba, though gorgeous, doesn't really have much to do...Nearly all the main blokes sounded the same...On the whole though, a great film."
5. WALL-E (8/10)
"Thank god Pixar have got back on track...(Andrew) Stanton understands the importance of colour, of spectacle, whilst never giving up the fundamental idea of story...The very young...WILL get bored easily throughout the beginning...A very brave film to pull off...the romance that develops between the two robots (is) so sweet and believable."
4. PAN'S LABYRINTH (8/10)
"This film is an absolute Must See...A dark, dark fairy tale for adults...NOT for youngsters...All of Del Toro's trademarks as a director are here...An absolute crying shame that this film was passed for an academy award for Best Foreign Film."
3. SWEENEY TODD: THE DEMON BARBER OF FLEET STREET (8/10)
"Burton never goes OTT with...(the)INTENTIONAL gore...Depp and Bonham Carter are brilliant in their roles...The love story...does suffer from the necessity of cutting for time...The music is extraordinary too...Burton has returned back to his roots."
2. THE DARK KNIGHT (9/10)
"Simply wow. From the very first moment, this film catches your attention and holds it for as long as possible...Truly the work of a genius...Heath Ledger...(is)SO GOOD in the role(of The Joker)...The film is a tad too long...Brilliant."
1. THE FOUNTAIN (9/10)
"This film totally staggered me...Aronofsky gives the plot just enough ambiguity for everyone to have their own opinion on what exactly is going on... (Rachel) Weisz is fast becoming one of my top five favourite actresses...I urge you to see this film...It is beautiful."
And my choice for Worst Film I've Seen All Year goes to: DRAGON (1/10)
"This is a bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, BAD film...The acting is almost abysmal...The script is very bad indeed...The action scenes, the few that there are, are either badly choreographed or full of the worst CGI...The film...is just incredibly boring...Pure awfulness."
Happy New Year, y'all!
Laters!
To be honest, I don't feel that enthusiastic about the whole thing, but oh well - who knows what could happen? I've already made several New Years Resolutions, after the partial succes of last year (I achieved one - go me!) and am ready to step fprward into what feels like just another day. To bid a fond farewell to 2008, though, here's a list of the top ten films I watched for the first time last year. This means they didn't exactly come out last year, just that I watched them for the first time. Enjoy!
10. JINDABYNE (7/10)
"Nothing seems rushed at all in the telling and unfolding of the story...There are clumsy moments...The race card is dealt, in comparison to the rest of the film, too quickly and swept aside too easily...It is perhaps a shame that, though two arguably very brilliant actors, Linney and Byrne were needed at all...A thoughtful film, though it could perhaps have been a little clearer in what it was actually trying to say."
9. QUANTUM OF SOLACE (7/10)
"(The film) starts fast and furiously and for the most part never lets up...I don't believe you can just watch it as a stand alone film...(Daniel) Craig's Bond takes the character to dark new places...There is a tour de force performance by Judi Dench...Camille is possibly the most interesting Bond girl we've had in a while...Mathieu Almaric does as well as he can...Characters are wasted...Good effort - just not great."
8. NOTES ON A SCANDAL (7/10)
"The power of the diary is paramount to the story and characters...Two powerful performances by two very fine actresses...The book on which the film is based is perhaps more powerful than this better-than-average adaptation."
7. HOT FUZZ (8/10)
"Intelligent, funny and at times pretty thrilling...Great writing, great casting, great stunts and great special effects...(Simon) Pegg and Nick Frost once again make a great double act...There were too many endings...A genuinely funny film to watch with your mates."
6. SIN CITY (8/10)
"This film blew me away from pretty much the first minute...The little splashes of colour truly make this a fantastical, yet realistic world...The violence is a weird but brilliant mixture of realism and cartoonish...Jessica Alba, though gorgeous, doesn't really have much to do...Nearly all the main blokes sounded the same...On the whole though, a great film."
5. WALL-E (8/10)
"Thank god Pixar have got back on track...(Andrew) Stanton understands the importance of colour, of spectacle, whilst never giving up the fundamental idea of story...The very young...WILL get bored easily throughout the beginning...A very brave film to pull off...the romance that develops between the two robots (is) so sweet and believable."
4. PAN'S LABYRINTH (8/10)
"This film is an absolute Must See...A dark, dark fairy tale for adults...NOT for youngsters...All of Del Toro's trademarks as a director are here...An absolute crying shame that this film was passed for an academy award for Best Foreign Film."
3. SWEENEY TODD: THE DEMON BARBER OF FLEET STREET (8/10)
"Burton never goes OTT with...(the)INTENTIONAL gore...Depp and Bonham Carter are brilliant in their roles...The love story...does suffer from the necessity of cutting for time...The music is extraordinary too...Burton has returned back to his roots."
2. THE DARK KNIGHT (9/10)
"Simply wow. From the very first moment, this film catches your attention and holds it for as long as possible...Truly the work of a genius...Heath Ledger...(is)SO GOOD in the role(of The Joker)...The film is a tad too long...Brilliant."
1. THE FOUNTAIN (9/10)
"This film totally staggered me...Aronofsky gives the plot just enough ambiguity for everyone to have their own opinion on what exactly is going on... (Rachel) Weisz is fast becoming one of my top five favourite actresses...I urge you to see this film...It is beautiful."
And my choice for Worst Film I've Seen All Year goes to: DRAGON (1/10)
"This is a bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, BAD film...The acting is almost abysmal...The script is very bad indeed...The action scenes, the few that there are, are either badly choreographed or full of the worst CGI...The film...is just incredibly boring...Pure awfulness."
Happy New Year, y'all!
Laters!
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