Seagal!

I've got a confession to make: I have a soft spot for a little film called On Deadly Ground. For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, it is the second best film starring Steven Seagal, that stalwart of really, really bad action movies(the first being Under Siege).

Now, as a red blooded male, I suppose it's only natural for me to enjoy the odd action film with very little plot, and On Deadly Ground is no exception - it makes very little sense, has a very silly plot, and is really a disastrous attempt at making a shoot-em-up film with an ecological message - its all about oil rigs and Eskimos in Alaska, you see. Thankfully, the film is saved by a somewhat staggeringly brilliant cast: Michael Caine is the bad guy, John C McGinley (Dr Cox from Scrubs) is his henchman, R. Lee Emery is the leader of a group of mercenaries who obviously cannot stop just one man ('cos that one man happens to be Seagal), even Billy Bob Thornton makes an appearance. and, yes, at the end of the day, there's just a lot of fun to be had watching one man take on every other single person in the film and blowing things up.

It's a little annoying to realise that action scenes are so much easier to envisage in films (or television) than in books. I find action scenes the hardest things to write, which is annoying when you consider that my books are typical good guy vs bad guy material, and how my first two books end with your typical confrontation. I'm planning to have a great big battle scene in The Witch Sister - a battle scene, for crying out loud! Once upon a time I toyed with the idea of being a writer of thrillers, a la Clive Cussler or even (what was I thinking?) Ian Flemming. But because I felt I was so bad at writing action scenes I realised that it was pretty ridiculous to try and keep this going.

Oh how I wish Seagal was a decent writer. Then we could all send him our ideas and say, "Yo, Steve, how should I end this scene? Should he jump over the side of the boat or should he blow everything up with a match and a line of petrol?" Ah well - we should always stick to what we're best at, as Seagal has found - though all his recent films haven't even been half as good as Under Siege or On Deadly Ground. In fact, god forbid, they've been ten times worse, and not in a good way! Still, at least he tried something new - even Seagal takes creative chances!