Cover Alls That Don't Quite Cover All

Found this on the good ol' World Wide Web this morning: a list of the Top Ten worst covers in (British) Music History. Here you go:

1. William Shatner: 'Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds'
2. Britney Spears: 'I Love Rock 'N' Roll'
3. Gareth Gates: 'Spirit In The Sky'
4. Kelly Osbourne: 'Papa Don't Preach'
5. Terry Wogan: 'The Floral Dance'
6. Madonna: 'American Pie'
7. Gareth Gates: 'Unchained Melody'
8. Rolf Harris: 'Stairway To Heaven'
9. Rik Waller: 'I Will Always Love You'
10. Alexandra Burke: 'Hallelujah'

It's a funny creature, the cover. You either love them or hate them. Some artists seem to be addicted to making them (particularly boy bands such as Boyzone or Westlife). Others will bow down maybe once to them - Britters at Number 2 has done perhaps two or three, but that's it. The cover song has also being adopted by charities - Children In Need, Comic Relief - as a quick, go to for raising more money for their respective projects. That's a little sneaky, because then you can't be too cynical about them, as its all for the greater good.

No, perhaps the most annoying use of covers recently has been with a little programme called The X Factor, a show like American Idol, (and its other counterparts - I dunno, is there a Kazakhstan Idol?), which is based solely on the idea of a bunch of un-famous people doing rather OTT cover versions of famous people's songs. The winner then releases another cover as their debut single, which then goes straight to Christmas Number One...annoyingly.

Last year the series spawned two cover singles. The first was a cover of Mariah Carey's 'Hero', which was sadly a charity single for British Troops, so again I'm forced to be as un-cynical as possible. I also have to sadly admit that it sent shivers up my spine the first time I heard it - I must be getting soft in my old age. But the true abomination was the winner's single, which you can see up at Number 10 on the list, Alexandra Burke's version of 'Hallelujah'. Now, admittedly, this has been one of the most covered songs ever, and in my opinion (and also the opinion of Leonard Cohen, the original artist) the definitive version was made by Jeff Buckley. Burke's is all about the glory and ooh, look at me, I've just won a meaningless talent show.

Alas, even Leona Lewis, the only success story of The X Factor, had to start with a cover version, and recently she did a cover of Snow Patrol's 'Run'. The difference is she makes it her own, as Buckley did with 'Hallelujah'. That's the recipe for a truly great cover version: it re-defines the song, re-imagines it. Let's have a list of those. I bet you it will be much shorter than the one of worst covers.

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Had a rather surreal evening last night. Our power went out, then came back on as if it was running incredibly low on juice. The lights were dim, the television was at time unwatchable (in terms of the picture, not the programmes), and the oven was making odd noises. Then, as we were flicking through the gradually distorting channels, we were able to see a game show called Golden Balls - I'm not sure exactly what happens in it, but appearing on the show last night was my ex-girlfriend's boyfriend. If it hadn't been for the power going wacky, we would never have seen that. Surreal at best. And he didn't win, poor chap - he was voted off before the grand final.

Laters.